Chapter 2: THE SELL....

This whole thing would be a lot easier had my wife not been present for the last decade to see my current bike sitting motionless in a succession of garages, decks and spare bedrooms during which, I am willing to admit, I expressed on several occasions an intention to get in the saddle with the goal of riding it in a dedicated manner off into the land of perfect cardio-vascular fitness and rippling physique not seen since my very brief stint in the army. Not stupid my wife. Can spot a pattern. I’ve also stated on more than one occasion that this time, the time we’re talking about NOW as opposed to all those OTHER times, this time, will be different.

But they weren’t of course or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

So in the interests of keeping me honest - here’s the rules to start with.

1. Ride the bike I have: From right now and on a regular basis for let’s say, 6 months (or slightly less if I really hammer it). Regular basis means AT LEAST the distance from our house to my daughter’s school and back 3 times a week (that’s about 13kms). Over 6 months that should add up to (4 weeks a month x 6 months is 24 weeks x 3 times a week = 72 times to school and back).
2. Special challenges: Do a longer ride, at least 30kms, at least twice a month (6 months x 2 rides = 12 big rides).
3. Ride to my parents house at least once from home. That’s about 85kms.
4. Ride to Sydney at least once. That’s.....quite a long way.

In total that’s 72 rides of 13+km, 12 rides of 30+kms, 1 ride of 85km and 1 ride of I think it’s close to 120km before allowing my arse to grace the saddle of a new bike. May as well attach a weight goal to the whole thing as well..

5. Weight’s got to be under 100kg (which is still pretty heavy but to put it in perspective, I was 127kg about 2 years ago and I haven’t seen double figures for quite some time).

If I’m lucky the level of my demonstrated commitment and the clearly accruing benefits to my health will so impress my wife that it will not occur to her to ask the obvious question – ‘Why do you even need a new bike in the first place when that one seems to be perfectly ok to me?’ With a probable addendum of – ‘IT COSTS HOW MUCH?!’

The problem here is that while I have answers galore to this question including but not limited to  - it makes squeaky noises, the gears keep slipping, the travel on these 90’s era forks is woefully inadequate and can’t you see the geometry of this frame is all wrong for my riding style – my wife knows me really quite well and is fully aware that a not insignificant part of my motivation that remains unexpressed in a deep part of my psyche goes – ‘Because it’s shiny and new and look at all the cool bits and pieces I wants it I wants it my precioussssssss....’ And the only response I have to that is – ‘At least I’m not into cars.’

NEXT: Decisions decisions.